Are you scared before writing?
Do you come up with a giant list of things that you must check off before you type? Do previously unappealing chores and obligations call your name? I'm talking about you, laundry.
This happens to all of us. I have been struggling myself with getting hypnotised by my inner critic whenever I have a writing session planned. I yawn and am convinced that I absolutely MUST go to sleep for just a little while before getting to that writing I had decided I was going to do today.
Maddening, right?
It's enough to make you feel like a failure, a fraud, and like maybe you’re not cut out to be a writer after all.
Here’s a shift that I teach all my students and clients. It’s simple, but makes an enormous impact:
Getting scared to write means you are onto something BIG
Right? If something doesn't engage us, then we don’t fear it. Think of campy horror movies where you can see the actor poking out of the monster suit. Nothing to keep you up late there.
But when it feels real, when the story is actually believable? That's when we squirm in our seats.
So if your critic is squirming and trying to talk you into cleaning the toilet rather than writing that story, that story is something to be very, very excited about.
If you get scared or fidgety or just plain procrastinating your writing, sit down and have a chat with your critic. Try imagining talking with it or even write out a dialogue with a screenplay format. (Scrivener is handy for this, as it has a screenplay format built right in, but you can use blank paper and a pen just as well.)
Have fun with it- come up with a setting.
Scene: The bottom is a slimy well. There are two chairs facing each other. A swamp creature with slimy skin climbs out of a manhole in the floor and sits in the chair. A writer, dressed in a cardigan, jeans, t-shirt, and glasses, sits in the other seat.
WRITER: Hey swamp creature, why do you keep convincing me to stop writing and start doing the dishes instead?
SWAMP CREATURE: Because clean dishes are important
WRITER: I think there might be more to it than that.
SWAMP CREATURE: Well....
You get the idea. Have fun with this. If you give a personality and identity to this critical self, it gives you a way to engage with it instead of just thinking it's YOU having a hard time with writing.
Give this a spin and comment to share how it goes. I'm dying to hear about your critical selves. Mine is Ebeneezer1, an elderly hoarder who lives in a studio apartment.
Ebeneezer does not like change. Most critics don’t. Remember, the critic is a valuable function: it’s there to keep you safe. Unfortunately, it’s idea of “safe” is often you trapped in a bubble where you can never take any risks at all.
It’s completely normal for you to get scared when you have a new idea, or even when you interact with writing at all. However, the shift to make is to remind yourself this:
Fear doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong.
Fear simply means you’re taking a risk. And writing involves risk. We have to be vulnerable, we have to try things out that might not work, and we have to put work out in the world that people might say mean things about.
But you knew this already and became a writer anyway. The critic is operating on its own risk scale, not yours. It’s like a smoke detector going off when you’re making a grilled cheese. The grilled cheese is WORTH it.
To transform your experience with fear, tell yourself “ooooh. I’m onto something,” when you get scared, and keep going. Fear doesn’t get to tell you when to stop. You’ve had an idea that matters. That’s scary, but it’s worth sticking with it.
See how this shifts your experience, and share the results in the comments.
Fun fact: When we got rid of nearly all our things and moved to Berlin, Ebeneezer chose to stay in LA. It was too much trouble to pack up that jam-packed studio of his.
Needless to say, I get WAY more writing done now, although he has figured out WhatsApp, unfortunately.
Oh, this is a great reframing - and playful too. 💜
Never thought of my fears actually meaning I’m onto something big, but it makes total sense🤩